I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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