im drinking this country out of the recession.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
