oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my poor anus
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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