I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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