She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
