good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
