I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
