i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do vagina's smell?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
