is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
