i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
