I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
