i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
