Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
