im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
