When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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