it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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