Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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