the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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