like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
