you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
