Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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