I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
