It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
