i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
