i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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