the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
