Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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