I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
