its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
