im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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