ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
