1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
