I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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