I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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