TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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