Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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