i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
