Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
tell me about the fingering
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