Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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