i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
