He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
