I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
