I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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