forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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