we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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