Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
