haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
