Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
