I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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