I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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