ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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